Should a self-diagnosis find that you are ridden with hiccups, prepare to relieve yourself of this nuisance with these safe and efficient steps. Step 1: With tweezers, begin plucking out the hairs around your left nipple. This is necessary even if you are a lady with sparse translucent hairs on your chest.
Step 2: When a one inch radius of left-nipple-hairlessness has been achieved, sit down beside an broken rake and meditate for two minutes.
Step 3: Stand, and pluck all of the hairs around your right nipple. The goal, once more, is a one-inch radius.
Step 4: Talk to your feet about sauces.
Congratulations! You are now hiccup-free.
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