Bond with your ferret until a tender trust develops. Coo at your ferret and feed it nice foods. Take your new ferret (perhaps his name is Bruce), and buff him vigorously against your dullest shoes. If he indicates that this is not enjoyable for him, and gazes at you with sad eyes, buy a hamster. Bond with your hamster, and explore whether this critter (perhaps his name is Megan) is more suitable to shining shoes.
Within weeks, your life will be filled with furry creatures, and your shoes will sparkle with soft love.
Harold,
ReplyDeleteI am having a few difficulties with the first step. My ferret, Malfoy, refuses to trust me. He constantly eyes me with distain and refuses to come near my shoes, even the sequined sneakers.
I have tired feeding him everything from chilaquiles to ambrosia salad, but he is never satisfied. (Though I think maybe the problem was the ambrosia salad. I couldn't find any marshmallows, so I had to substitute the dinky ones from Lucky Charms. Do ferrets dislike Lucky Charms?)
My list of other failed shoe polishers include: Brandon the hamster, Lisa the hamster, Ainsley the panda (though to be fair the SPCA had a fit before I was able to test her polishing abilities), and Bear the wombat.
Could you please offer some advice on what I am doing wrong? And direct me to a grocery store that is fully stocked in marshmallows?
Thank you,
Kanilyn
well i tried this harold. i mean polish my shoes. i skipped the bonding part, seemed kinda pointless, and now i want to know can you tell me how to do do CPR on a plecko?
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